Saturday, May 29, 2010

Remembered Forgettables #3: Coat Redhanded

It was a freezing cold night in a Toronto pub. It was close to last call and this great looking jacket had been sitting on this chair in front of me for a while. Looked like no one was going to come to get it, so I tried it on in the mirror downstairs.

And, well, it looked fantastic, okay? So all I could think was trying to get this thing home. But I didn't want to leave anyone coatless, so I put my coat on over it and went back upstairs, pretty sure no one would ask for it.

I thought I was home free. Then this guy flies into a rage shouting for his jacket. I mean, he is pissed. And everyone in the bar is behind him, saying, 'What kind of a fuckin lowlife steals a man's jacket in this weather?' And I'm just shaking with fear.

So I went downstairs, out of sight, again, to make it available, but I couldn't get my coat off because it was stuck. And as I was struggling and sweating, someone saw me and shouted, 'Look, it's him!'

And when I tried to explain it like the above, no one believed me. I surrendered the coat and on my way out the door I heard the Aussie girl say, 'I never trusted him. He has the eyes of a dingo.' Don't seem to have much luck with or without clothes in these remembered forgettables.

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© 2007, 2010. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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